1. |
Hello Cleveland
03:00
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Hello Cleveland, Cleveland hi!
Every time I come here someone dies
Why, oh why, oh why?
Rick and Steve and Ginna Ling
Of thee I grieve and of thee I sing
But the rock stops here
And rock never dies
But like all things it just gets old and trivialized
Hello Cleveland!
Hello Cleveland!
Hello Cleveland, Cleveland hi!
To the hall of fame, not sure why
'Til your Erie ways run dry
Hello Cleveland, hi.
Hello Charlie, Hello Jon
Hello T, let's get it on
Gonna rock all day with my best friends
'Til we're high in the middle and round at both ends
Hello Cleveland!
Hello Cleveland!
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2. |
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I know I got too many things to say
Pull my toes out of my teeth nearly every day
No one ever gets the point anyway
I got nothin' to lose man, so I won't play
The worst thing (that I ever did) (4x)
...was tell the truth
I pissed you off, I see it in your eyes
I was bein' a dick, but I was circumsized
Yeah, I felt bad but now I realize
Though I've done things for which I apologize
The worst thing (that I ever did) (4x)
...was tell the truth
At a righteous party, there's always one guy
And I regret to inform you that that fella is I
You may not be offended but just give me a sec
You want me to shut up, man, start writin' a check
The worst thing (that I ever did) (4x)
...was tell the truth
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3. |
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My Name Is Jonas Brothers
55 years of rock 'n' roll
All boils down to you, me and Nick
Dance, don't be a dick, don't be a dick, don't be a dick! (2x)
My name is Ace of Base
And I'm not just gonna suck
I'm gonna rub it in your face
Dance, don't be a dick, don't be a dick, don't be a dick! (2x)
My name is Hasil Atkins
55 years of rock 'n' roll
Run down by a truck, what the fuck?
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4. |
Radio Hell (WAAL)
01:22
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99.1nce upon a time
There was a station so sublime
The Great Pretenders and Circle Jerks
Whistle while you Kraftwerk
And then one day Clear Channel came
And made my radio all the same
Boring, bland, plastic kitschy
Makes me cranky, Lionel bitchy
Radio Hell (WAAL) (4x)
This can't last, this is so lame
Then the latest ratings came
The suits rejoiced, oh happy day
Second highest in the U.S.A.
Feel the pleasure, feel the power
Play the same songs every hour
Hear those blasting broadcast towers
Pouring forth in golden showers
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5. |
A Town Called Asshole
02:29
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This is the story 'bout a boy named Jason
He worked at a donut shop turnpike facin'
He looked real slow and he moved real slow
But it beats the army and pickin' coal
It's an easy decision in A Town Called Asshole
This is the story 'bout a girl named Sue
she likes to pray and she likes to screw
'Cos she don't get drunk so what else to do
So let's all get together behind the pew
It's an easy decision in A Town Called Asshole
Way down behind the barn
A rendezvous, yeah, with your mom
And that's just how she bought the farm
Cigarettes and gin and middle fingers
Sarah Palin and Jerry Springer!
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6. |
Sports Bar
02:23
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TV in the bathroom, can't you see
Yes I can now, when I pee
Can't look away, I can't break free
A cathode catheter for you and me
The last time I saw this many football jerseys
My high school team kicked the shit out of me
Now a smiling hostess has a number on her chest
To hide her heavy heaving high school breasts
Rah-rah-rah-rah-sis-boom-bah-bah Sports Bar
Rah-rah-rah-rah-sis-boom-bah-bah Sports Bar
I'm trying to hang out but it's getting me down
I think that soccer team just scored a touchdown
'Cause some big burly guy just threw a tantrum
Got a beer on my lap and a busted eardrum
My girl has buffalo wings and thighs
A garlic burger and curly fries
Some more potato skins, Jaegermeister and then
We're gonna make out to ESPN
Rah-rah-rah-rah-sis-boom-bah-bah Sports Bar
Rah-rah-rah-rah-sis-boom-bah-bah Sports Bar
Pack the leftovers in a greasy box
Stoppin' at Kroeger's for a bottle of Maalox
She's listening to the game and her eyes got a gleam
The Browns got her hot, now I got one for the team
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7. |
Fuck Nihilism
01:18
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The rules are there are some rules
You fucking moron
Otherwise I'm gonna go shit on your lawn
Fuck nihilism
Fuck nihilism
I gotta live in your world, gotta breathe your air
Fry the planet but you don't care
Fuck nihilism
Fuck nihilism
Fuck nihilism
It's never your fault, is it bro?
Blame us all for what you don't know
With a fat pill popper as your personal saint
Screw anybody that you ain't
Fuck nihilism
Fuck nihilism
Fuck nihilism
You got a bright and shiny box
Telling you where to throw rocks
You're crazy as a glass house, stupid like Fox
Want the rest of the world to come and suck your cock
Fuck nihilism
Fuck nihilism
Fuck nihilism
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8. |
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1,2, 1,2 1,2!
In the little town of Bethlehem
Lives a man called Jollyjoe
With a tiny little shop where the only one who stops
Is Edgar Allen Poe
Jollyjoe, the polka man
Jollyjoe, I'm your biggest fan
Jollyjoe, Jollyjoe, Jolly Jollyjoe
Please ring bell!
He's old as dirt in his checkered shirt
Polka is his metier
And you can't come in much to your chagrin
'Cos he'll chase your ass away
Jollyjoe, please let me in
And sell me an accordian
Jollyjoe, Jollyjoe, Jolly Jollyjoe
Please ring bell!
What's it like when you spend your life
On something no one cares about
I'd like to know I'd like to ask
But Jollyjoe you won't come out!
Jollyjoe you owe me man
Jolly help me understand
Jollyjoe, Jollyjoe, Jolly Jollyjoe
Please ring bell!
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9. |
Flight Of The Stinkbug
01:55
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none whatsoever
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10. |
Dave Matthews Again
03:04
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Don't you wanna see something new?
A yeah yeah and a boo-hoo
It's 2009, OK but you're 1998 whenever you play
It's Dave Matthews Again!
It's Dave Matthews Again!
I like tasty licks as much as the next guy
I also like filling in my pie
It's cool that you're into DMB
Just what the world needs: another clean hippie
You've got to imitate before you can create
This much I understand
You've got to be mediocre before you can be great
But does it always have to be the same band?
It's Dave Matthews Again!
It's Dave Matthews Again!
In 1992 it was Motley Crue,
R.E.M. and/or U2
Now a whole new generation being misled
Into another jam band humping The Dead
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11. |
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Sittin' at the bar at Jack's Sugar Shack
Got a long ponytail running down his back
Drinkin' a beer and nursing a grudge
A pop star in hiding and he wouldn't budge!
The night I bought Micky Dolenz a beer
The night I bought Micky Dolenz a beer
I wanted to say that the critics were wrong
I wanted to say I love "The Porpoise Song"
I wanted to say that Kirschner's a tool
My favorite movie was "Head"
"The Frodis Caper" was cool
The night I bought Micky Dolenz a beer
The night I bought Micky Dolenz a beer
I slapped him on the back and said "let me get you a beer"
Then he turned to his friend and said "let's get out of here"
The bartender smiled and gave me the bill
Just another ex-Monkee with time to kill
The night I bought Micky Dolenz a beer
The night I bought Micky Dolenz a beer
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12. |
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Up. Crap.
Stubbed my toe
Shuffle down, shuffle back
Pee? Yeah. Shave? No.
Coffee: black
Cinnamon roll
E-mail's down, cursor's whacked
Facebook? Yeah. Write back? No.
I'm only gonna do it if it wouldn't be prudent
'Cause I'm a 40 year-old college student!
I said I'm gonna grow up but I ain't gonna do it
'Cause I'm a 40 year-old college student!
Hall: gay
Moustache: Oates
Adult education slows
Window? Yeah. Leave? No
Co-ed meet professor 'ho
Who's your daddy now
Make out? Yeah. Fuck? No
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13. |
A.M. Gold
02:42
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AM gold, AM gold
Makes me feel sad and old
Wood on skin, wood on wire
Hair on denim, now retired
AM gold, AM gold
Major sevens, loud and bold
One hit wonder wonderland
Came to Boston, then got banned
AM gold, AM gold
Robot music left me cold
Let it roll and let it be
Not American idolatry
AM gold, AM gold
Eric Carmen is Ben Folds
Raspberries to your disconnect
It don't deserve your disrespect
AM gold, my old friend
Making me feel good again
Jesus is just alright with me
If Moses is Shaun Cassidy
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14. |
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"Please drive safely, heaven can wait"
Reads the truck parked at the cemetery gate
A logo with two big green trees
Reads: "Batesville Casket Company,
A Hillenbrand Industry."
I'm glad to know, that when I go
There's a corporation that loves me so
Bury my heart next to D. Boon
We want your corpse, but not too soon
At the Batesville Casket Company,
A Hillenbrand Industry.
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Adam Marsland Los Angeles, California
Adam Marsland's long career has included stints as a singer/songwriter, touring troubadour, producer, and multi- instrumentalist/sideman. He has made 11 albums as a solo artist and as leader of '90s power pop combo Cockeyed Ghost, and toured the country 22 times as a DIY performer. He has worked with artists as diverse as The Standells, 2008 Tony Award Winner Stew, and members of the Beach Boys. ... more
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